Geriatric Couture

Tyson

2009-04-11T16:23:00.000-07:00

By now, you have probably heard about the upcoming release of the Mike Tyson documentary. I was lucky enough to catch a bootleg stream of the entire film the other day and I'm still on a Tyson high. My limited knowledge of the famous/infamous boxer came only from hearing about him as the butt of jokes, especially regarding the Holyfield incident and his trysts with women, plus his occasional outlandish vocab.

The movie not only humanized him but proved that he has a deep understanding and desire to know more about motivation, integrity, human interaction and relationships, and the way his own mind works within those parameters. And have you seen the guy box? In videos of his early fights, he barely looked human. He was a non-stop dancing, punching, ducking, hitting machine.

Light dancing

2009-04-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling gloomy but this always helps:

Bombs are FIERCE*

2009-03-16T09:47:00.000-07:00

I once went with a friend to an America's Next Top Model casting call as a joke but when we saw how long the wait would be, we decided to just watch the hundreds of hopeful girls in their pointy stilettos and best club wear from a balcony in the waiting room. The swarm looked like a carefully manicured and rayon-clad herd of cattle from above, waiting for the prod from their handlers that would move them to the next step in the interview process, one step closer to the slaughterhouse/reality tv.

Picture those hundreds of girls and then multiply that by 20. Add the sound of a backfiring car that is mistaken for a bomb by a confused model wannabe.

*Remember when "fierce" was the hot word in the fashion world? Currently, "epic" seems to be taking over, at least in all of the fashion blogs. I could live without either.

F/W 2009 Picks

2009-02-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

I posted some fashion talk over here. Wheee! Unaffordable clothes!

Where are you, Yeezy?

2009-02-01T09:36:00.001-08:00

It's impossible not to love the juxtaposition of the almost lugubrious ensemble with the warm smile. Two reasons I would like to hug him: (1) Adorable! (2) I bet the jacket feels nice.

Blacking out

2009-01-27T13:39:00.000-08:00

I've never been one to lust after diamonds but black diamonds inverted on a black oxidized silver ring? Now we're getting somewhere.Alex and Chloe Goujon Triple

A hundred thousand trillion

2009-01-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

I hate to admit it but Kanye is starting to grow on me.
A message from kwest on Vimeo.
via the Kanye West blog.

The clothes off of your back & the dollars out of your wallet

2009-01-22T10:04:00.000-08:00

I don't understand what all the fuss is about Sophomore NYC. Can someone explain it to me? There has been much effusing over the supposed genius of the line but can praise from the online fashion community justify

$60 white t-shirts?

a $140 sweatshirt?

Even if the clothes were handmade in a crystalline salt cave carved in the side of a Himalayan mountain and each stitch was blessed by a Wiccan high priestess to bring you wisdom and ESP, which they aren't, when all is said and done, you're still paying $140 for a sweatshirt, dummy.

In other fashion news, Urban Outfitters must be feeling the sting of the economic recession because they are trying a new marketing strategy and busting (har har!) out the T&A in no discreet quantity:

What am I supposed to want to buy in that last one? Someone's old couch and a sock?
Consider them sold!

2009

2009-01-20T16:14:00.001-08:00

Not so relevant an image now with Hill's unhappy head
but I still enjoy it.
Welcome to the White House.

Body Magick

2009-01-20T14:31:00.000-08:00

This video has been stashed away in my YouTube favorites for a few years but I still find the dance moves inspiring. How cute are all the boys in their sassy business casual wear?

0:30 - If JD from LeTigre and Weird Al had a child
0:51 - Must learn this routine. It's a good thing leggings are back in style because I can easily recreate the girl's outfit with one trip to the local Forever21.

Oh right, crafts.

2009-01-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget that I am a part of this Etsy blog circle which would probably indicate that I am a maker of things. To tell the truth, I haven't been making much at all but I managed to whip up a few things for Christmas. "Whip up" may be putting it too simply. Each thing took hours despite the fact that they are fairly simple in appearance. Isn't that how it always goes? The planning and finishing stages are so time consuming, accounting for the majority of the overall time spent and the actual construction is fairly quick in comparison. Here's the show and tell of what I was able to photograph.

This is a collar necklace I made for a friend and a stolen photo of it in action:

She pulls it off well. The faux leather gems in the
centerpiece are my favorite part.

I also made a Native American seed bead "L" belt for another friend:

I might have been a little too eager to complete it because the bead panel was sewn on slightly askew. After stringing hundreds of little beads on one by one by one, putting the whole thing together is like when you've been waiting for that big sneeze to come for minutes that seem like hours and your eyes are watering and you're making that unattractive sneeze face and finally that fateful piece of dust hits your nose in just the right spot and ah-chooyou'vegotabelt.

Gisele Ganne

2008-12-18T14:06:00.000-08:00

I have always fantasized about getting into a fist fight though I know I would probably walk out all Wreckx and not much Effect. But if I had the gold bird skull four knuckler by Gisele Ganne on the right, I would use it to peck my opponent's eyes out and I would glide out of there in style. Just sayin'.

It's Official x 3

2008-12-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

I need three pugs.

Cocoon of betrothal

2008-11-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a topic that is unavoidable these days, seeing as how I am at that age where hordes of people I know are getting engaged or married or at least hinting at the subject. I am not immune from this barrage of forever coupledom, despite being single. The question "so when are you getting married?" or the preface "when you get married,..." has been thrown in my direction more this past year or so than ever before which makes me feel like people are trying to imply that this is the next logical step in my life.

Well thanks, but no thanks (I would call it a bridge to nowhere to complete the quote but I am actually not anti-marriage) for now UNLESS I get to wear this. The only caveat is that I would wear this not only to the wedding but to the honeymoon, at home, on the beach, to the grocery store, etc.

YSL Wedding Cocoon picture taken from Style Bubble

End of September

2008-09-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

Pieces of right now:

-This was my idea years ago and I never acted on it. No joke. Just look at my blog name! I don't care much about the old New Yorkers or Europeans who have been rolling in vaults of cash but I love stylish elders who don't know they're stylish. My neighborhood is teeming with them.

-The knights at Medieval Times are pretty handsome.

-There is a screaming squirrel on the power lines that are level with my bedroom window. Have you heard a screaming squirrel before or is this an anomaly?

-I can't stop thinking about relationships, my lack thereof, aging, the future, Chicago as the most stressful city in the nation, the future, the future, the future.

Bubbles & Cats

2008-09-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

That last post was a total bummer!

Here are some live animals to lighten the mood:

2008-09-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

On my way to work today I saw a raccoon that must have just been beheaded by a speeding vehicle seconds before I got there. Its body was laying in between the opposing lanes of traffic and its head was sitting on the white dashed lines one lane over, preceded by a dull smear of blood. I happened to be in the lane separating its two halves, the same lane where it must have happened. The worst part was that his little limbs were still flailing in the air, nerves and muscles reeling and trying to make a connection with what they knew was missing.

Are you ready?

2008-08-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

R.Kelly's new album is coming this fall! That whole afternoon he had to spend in court for the most anticlimactic celebrity trial of the ages didn't deter him from putting together some sweet tracks, like the one Rich of FourFour uploaded here.

Visions

2008-08-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

I have been wearing contacts for many years but recently my eyes have been bothered by allergies and wearing contacts makes me feel like there are 10-12 aggressive pieces of fiber poking my eyeballs at any given moment. So I switched to wearing glasses more often. My glasses are nice enough but I went and purchased clear plastic frames on the internet so I could have some variety, you know, spice it up.

They arrived yesterday so I tried them on and snapped a few pictures. No, I won't amuse you with the slack-jawed expressions I made in those photos here but just a few minutes after I uploaded those pictures, I saw the following video on youtube. It is the closest thing I can offer you and it is in fact pretty accurate. Pause it at 0:13 for maximum doppleganger action. Note - In virtual reality, they take your glasses but you get some pretty neat gloves instead.

It's terrible

2008-08-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

but I can't stop watching it.

Whoa!

2008-07-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

Eyes without a face

2008-07-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

Current status

2008-07-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

I've been kind of bummed, kind of busy, kind of lazy, kind of stuck in day dream mode. A vacation that I would resist if I had the ability to be fiscally responsible is going to happen in a few months and I'm in a persistent state of pregret. I'm sure it will be worth it. It better be worth it.

Hey, look! Things are happening over here. I'll be posting something soon, keep your eyes peeled. Ouch! That makes me think of Lasik surgery.

Friends with bikes

2008-06-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Be careful out there, okay? I would prefer not to see any more friends with busted skulls.

Seize your seizure

2008-06-18T13:40:00.001-07:00

Real Talk

2008-06-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

Oh, Kells!

Tag tag tag it up

2008-06-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

The lovely Caitlin of Nice-etc. wants me to spill a little info and of course I'm willing to oblige. So it goes a little something like this:

Five things that are in my bag:

1. I went on a bit of a nail polish binge yesterday so these were swimming around in my bag until I got home.
2. Floss! I always need floss.
3. A heavy, thrifted analog point n' shoot camera that I'm testing
4. A small bowl I got at the thrift on the way home from work
5. A tin pen holder with a lady stepping out of a classic 50's car

Five random/favorite things in my room:

1. This lamb/ET/Comiskey Park vignette
2. A dresser with Hockney's "Big Splash" on the side, given to me by an ex whose ex painted it
3. Book stack with a thrifted bookend I love
4. My salt lamp! I won this from Time Out Chicago.
5. Air plants - the only plants I haven't killed yet, besides a cactus

Five things I've always wanted to do:

- Own a shop
- Visit Europe (this might happen soon!)
- Master an instrument
- Bake without recipes
- Have a photographic memory

Five things I'm currently into:

- Crystals - this is more of an ongoing infatuation
- Metal (the music) - especially the classics. I wasn't allowed to listen to much music as a kid/pre-teen and when I finally went for it and bought a tape (a tape!!) that wasn't parent-approved, I went the hip hop route instead. I listened to my fair share of Mastodon and Isis and the like in college but the thrash classics are scratching my aural itch right now.
- Frozen yogurt - I just got back from LA and while I was there I succumbed to the embarrassingly trendy frozen yogurt movement. Holy crap, it's good.
- Cold-brewed iced coffee - So easy to make and smooth as a freshly waxed upper lip
- Pencil skirts

My impressions of Caitlin at Nice etc. (who tagged me): I haven't spent much time with Caitlin but through our random interactions I know she's a super sweet girl who's usually smiling, even if her nose is bleeding at an inconvenient time. I admire her style, great hair, and inventiveness.

Six personal quirks:

- I never set timers or alarms at even times like 7:00 or 7:30 but choose random times that don't end in a zero.
- I often slip my shoe off when sitting down at a restaurant or bar and push my shoe around with my foot then have a hard time finding it under the dark table.
- Listing these quirks is making me feel defective so I'm just going to stop at two.

Perks and Mini

2008-06-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

I've had a crush on the Australian brand Perks and Mini for a while now and their current line is going to turn me into a full on PAM stalker. Actually, getting a hold of PAM clothes does require a certain amount of following around because they aren't carried in many stores in the U.S. and certainly not in any Midwest shops that I'm aware of.

Creatures of Comfort in LA has some pieces and I'm taking a trip out there this weekend so I am going to fondle these items until they force me to leave:

Ubiq in Philadelphia also carries shirts for guys.

Fitness Poodles

2008-05-29T10:47:00.001-07:00

Classic

2008-05-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Etsy crap MUST GO

2008-05-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

There has been a change over at Etsy.com regarding the search function and its defaults. Basically, the sections are broken up into handmade, vintage, and supplies now with the handmade being the default search on the front page of the site which is generally what people use to find anything. The site was initially billed as a site for handmade products but has found a steadily increasing market for the other sellers as well, which means more money for Etsy but also more of a strain on their resources and a muddying of their initial mission statement.

That's all fine and good, I'm just through with trying to hawk any vintage crap on there because the exposure and consequently the sales have significantly lessened and in all honesty, I just want the stuff out of my house. SO if anyone wants anything currently on my Etsy site, please let me know. We can trade or I might just ask you to pay shipping.

Westward Bound

2008-05-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

Once boyfriend, now best friend Tyler is leaving for L.A. in a few days and while I'm happy for the beginning of a life in a new and warmer climate for him, I'm also sad to see him go. I think this is the first time someone I'm so close to has moved away and I don't really know how to deal with it.

Bye, TB! You better call me because I know I'll be calling you when I find large, scary bugs in my apartment and want to cry/move out because of them or when I see anything Italian greyhound-related. I'll be visiting soon.

Stay BRUTAL.

Booyacka

2008-05-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

I was clicking through some online clothes shops today while anticipating my chunk of the economic stimulus package and I found this sweater from Bernhard Willhelm:

One of my favorite outfits from childhood involved that same eyepatched, bandana-wearing smiley face in neon pink and green on a t-shirt! I guess I was a very fashion forward child.

This sweater also has some other images on it that I definitely did not have on any of my childhood gear. Click here to see the other views or to make a purchase if you want to spend all of your tax rebate on one clothing item.

I'm it

2008-03-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Lauren over at Banana Head Pancake to dispense 7 random facts about myself. Hi, Lauren! It's my first time being invited to do so and I think it's about time to come out of blog hibernation so here you go:

(1) I did not wear jeans until I was in junior high. All the years previous, I was clad in stylin' colorful stretch pants/leggings and other trendy 80's staples like tiered skirts (usually with leggings underneath!). I have no idea why I didn't have a single pair of blue jeans in my closet but the stretch pants paint a particularly amusing picture because I was a scrawny kid with bony chicken legs. My favorite pair was covered in a multi-colored, almost psychedelic Pucci-like pattern. Maybe one of these days I'll dig up a photo of myself in said stretch pants.

(2) I vividly remember the three times I choked on candies when I was a kid and I still remember the three candy culprits - a butterscotch disk, a Runt (I think it was an orange one), and a Mentos. Is it Mento if it's singular? A man's toe?

(3) Sticking with the theme of childhood - I did not learn how to ride a bike until I was 20 years old.

(4) I have particularly neat handwriting now but I almost flunked handwriting in grade school.

(5) In college, I studied marketing and management because I thought it would be more practical than my original major of graphic design. Ever since I graduated I have wished that I stuck with graphic design or another more creative field. I realize your major doesn't necessarily determine your future line of work but I could have at least spent my college years becoming friends with interesting people instead of donning power suits (shudder) to give marketing speeches in front of classmates with which I had nothing in common.

(6) I am a buffet aficionado.

(7) It's been a childhood dream of mine to own a shop and I'm still hoping to make it happen someday. I used to draw pictures of my dream house and there would always be colorful little stores lined up at the base of the house. One of them was always a candy shop.

I would tag 7 other people to list some facts but I'm not that embedded in the "blogosphere" yet. Let's just say that if you happen to read this and have a blog and feel like posting 7 random facts about yourself, please do and let me know!

Fidel, Ryan, Mo

2008-02-19T17:56:00.000-08:00

Cigarettes

2008-02-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Spider neck

2008-01-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

Take a look at this mechanical spider-mobile, as built by rednecks. Let's hope that this is a preview of the future of personal transportation. It looks like a loud and somewhat clunky future but it is still infinitely more promising than, say, the Segway.

Panda prescription

2007-12-17T12:53:00.000-08:00

Having a bad day? Here you go.

Letters with borders

2007-12-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

How appropiate that this letter came with a visual illustration of the border it had to cross to get to my door! It has been received, read, considered, appreciated, and soon another border-crossing packet of paper will make its way up North.

Technically Alive

2007-12-06T08:40:00.001-08:00

I have been tied up at work for the past week or so and it has been especially draining, causing me to fall into an immediate state of lethargy when I walk through my front door.

It's tempting to plop down in front of the tv and fall asleep without any kind of the usual before-bed activities like changing clothes, brushing teeth, or witchcraft. However, in an effort to maintain some semblance of a living human being, here are some activities which I have engaged in since they don't require much energy on my part:

Embroidery - The true beauty of embroidery lies in the fact that you can watch terrible movies on FX while still feeling semi-productive. "Wild Things," anyone?

Wrapping presents - Catharsis and consumerism. Or is it catharsis through consumerism?

Spending time with these guys. How could I not?

Eating unintentionally vegan - It's freezing here and I love soup in the winter. It just so happens that most of the soups I crave are vegan or easily made vegan like this nearly neon little number I made with carrot, sweet potato and ginger. That generic brand soft pretzel sitting next to its soupy buddy was one of the best I've had, people. Go pick some up, soft pretzels are the best.

Thrifting - This involves leaving the house so it doesn't happen as often as I would like but it's usually more rewarding that hibernating in my bedroom like the torpid mamma l I am.

Stay Golden

2007-11-26T21:14:00.000-08:00

Getting to know me

2007-11-26T13:59:00.000-08:00

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Medium

Every now and then

2007-11-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

Lewd, crude and for the dudes

2007-11-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

My gmail account has been flooded with the usual penis-lengthening pill spam but glancing at the titles, it seems like they are really putting some effort into their advertisements these days. Here is a gem of a title from my favorite company, MegaDik. MegaDik may be the only company sending me the dick spam right now but I appreciate how they throw in some creativity with their industriousness to mix it up:

Have you ever felt a kiss of a womb? With your new big rod you'll feel it!

-"Ricardo H. Holmes" to me

Horale, Holmes, that is some next level shit.

How about this sweet little poem from Mr. Jamaal Riddle who I believe earned the title of 2007 poet laureate for MegaDik.

Now that you've got a lass that's hot
You wanna hump her dripping twat.
She's cute and taking, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will wish for more?
You need a dong she would adore!
But how to make it long and thick?
Your only hope is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your rod will slam her pink so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!

-"Jamaal I. Riddle" to me

Truly touching, Jamaal. It got me right there, in the womb.

23

2007-10-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

If I could have one wish at this very moment, it would be to inhabit this video. There is something so viscerally appealing about it, as if it contains glimpses of a past or future life that occasionally break through to current consciousness.

Can't Tase This

2007-10-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

Thank the gods of the internet for YouTube, a bastion of current events made more memorable and more palatable through the magic of the reeeeeeemix.

Dear Bulga and Shopbop,

2007-10-15T20:29:00.001-07:00

Please tell me this is a joke. (Go to that link, you'll understand.)

Photo from Shopbop.

I am typing

2007-09-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hello, Internet Apparitions that talk to me in my sleep!

Most of the recent entries have been comprised of random things that I find entertaining but I will make some kind of an effort today to create something rather than the usual cut n' paste, or rather highlight, copy and paste.

September is coming to a close which is always sad because it's my birthday month and with birthdays come birthday get-togethers with people you love and people you like-love and people you like and people you like-like and possibly other people who do not neatly fall into those four already untidy categories. Though birthday gatherings are always expected and maybe sometimes feel like a bother to organize, I always end up having a grand time. A grand ol' time, Pa.

This year I turned the big 2-6 which is an unremarkable number. It is not nice and round like those ending in a zero or a 5 and it does not carry with it any exciting privileges like getting to smoke cigarettes or rent a car. It has the makings to be a good year for me though, because I feel much less like a kid but I'm not yet a bona fide, boring adult. I am a kid-dult with some money in my pocket and far less crazy mood swings and rampant self-destructive benders penciled in my schedule.

I will be writing more about my birthday soon, with pictures for you to "Ooh" and "Aah" at. There might also be one in there for you to "Eww" at.

My hands are too cold to continue right this moment so goodbye to you all! I'll miss you fondly until we reunite again on this one-sided message board I call an internet journal of curiosities and life changing inspirational blurbs such as those you would find on a Successories poster.

2007-09-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

From the NY Times

2007-09-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yo!

2007-09-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yo! Gabba Gabba

From the IFOCE website

2007-09-17T11:50:00.001-07:00

Road Report: La Costena Feel the Heat Jalapeno Eating Challenge
9/16/2007

With mariachis beating in the distance, Chicago's hometown boy Pat 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti prevailed in what many believe is the most grueling discipline on the circuit - jalapenos.

A crowd of Chi-town fans cheered him to a 191 jalapeno performance worth $2500. The feat marked a new short form record - 6.5 minutes, due to a La Costena pepper shortage. The peppers were so piquant and in such high demand they had to cut the contest time.

In second place was Sonya Thomas with 141 jalapenos, Rich LeFevre took 3rd with 120, Hall Hunt 4th with 110, and Erik the Red took 5th with 97.

Bertoletti was last seen smiling and drinking whole milk from the carton.

----

If only I could have been in attendance.

The eloquent corgi

2007-09-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

Shaun Leane

2007-09-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

Rene Gades

2007-09-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hello loyal readers, I want all two of you to gather close and listen here. I'm participating in this year's Renegade Craft Fair in Chicago on September 15 and 16 with a handful of lovely and talented friend-people under the group name "90's R&B."

We had grandiose dreams of making coordinating outfits involving baggy bold colored shirts and gold lame (that e should have an accent over it to make it lah-may not lame) fitted shorts but that will likely remain just a dream since the fair is only a week away and I have yet to make any progress on inventory. How sad would it be to be suited up in an elaborate 90's R&B outfit with nothing to sell? Maybe it wouldn't be that sad after all but that's besides the point.

Well the point is, come visit us at our booth, we will be near Division and Wolcott which I believe is by Penelope's. I could be wrong, if you know me at all you know I'm hopeless with geography. We will have some kind of sweet treats to share and lots of jams from the 90's to soothe your soul or move your feet or tickle your ears or caress your hair.

2007-08-25T17:45:00.001-07:00

America, the beautiful

2007-08-24T15:23:00.001-07:00

I just heard that American Gladiators is making a come back. I know I've had a conversation with someone saying they should revive the show although it will undoubtedly be terrible because they will try to modernize it, losing some of its charm in the process. Let's just hope they keep handing out the great names. This cast had my favorite selection of gladiator aliases and I plan on naming any children I may have after them. Sorry, future children. G-g-gemini! And Thunder, start practicing whipping your beautiful blonde mane around because it will be your signature move.

Pinball Roundup Part 1

2007-08-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

Although Chicago is the home of the last operating pinball manufacturer, finding a playable pinball machine in a public place is not as easy as you would think. I've heard that the real pinball aficionados have their own machines in their basement and that's how they get their quality pin time but what about those of us who don't have the extra $10K or so to spend on a handful of machines? Fear not, you nerds, for pinball machines can be found in some public spaces in our fair city. Here's a few you can go check out, I'll add more as I find them:

Machine: Elvis
Location: Skylark - 2149 N. Halsted
Condition: Excellent condition, seems to be well serviced

Machine: World Poker Tour
Location: Rainbo Club - 1150 N. Damen
Condition: Also excellent

Machine: Addam's Family
Location: Lincoln Lanes - 4874 N Lincoln
Condition: A lot of lights have burned out and something is hanging loose in the playing field, blocking some of the bumpers. The flippers seem a little weak which makes it hard to hit the ramp on the upper right hand.

Machine: Cyclone
Location: Lincoln Lanes - 4874 N Lincoln
Condition: Pretty good condition, much better than the Addam's Family machine. The ball sometimes gets stuck on the ferris wheel and won't fall into the ramp and sometimes the ball does not release easily from the multiplier on the left-hand side. Despite these small problems, it's a fun machine and probably my favorite so far.

Machine: Frankenstein
Location: Dennis's Place for Games - 957 W. Belmont
Condition: Terrible!

Machine: Lethal Weapon
Location: Dennis's Place for Games - 957 W. Belmont
Condition: Eh, decent. The launcher doesn't work but you can launch the ball by pressing both flipper buttons. This machine is a waste of time though.

I've got more but I'll save those for the next titillating installment of the Chi-town pinball roundup. I know all two of you are dying of excitement!

Two kinds of divine

2007-08-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

Let's read about Salvia Divinorum, pointed out to me by my dear friend James. Look at that sweet artwork inspired by this particular psychoactive plant! Man, I love hippies.

Now let's explore the world of gyromancy, a term brought to my attention in a thrilling round of late night Balderdash. My life is that wild, people. (It was actually a lot of fun, I'm not hatin'on Balderdash.)So have kids been toying with this divination on playgrounds across the world? I believe so. Look at that kid, she's totally seeing into the future and pledging her allegiance to the occult.

2007-07-22T20:29:00.001-07:00

Body Massage

2007-07-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

I've been in gut-wrenching pain all day but I still managed to make some long overdue lemon bars AND I did a bit of sewing today. I made some bias tape which was actually not as annoying as I expected it to be, especially with the help of the clear acrylic quilting ruler I have that has the most common angles printed on it as well as a grid marked out in square inches. The sad thing is that after all that marking and cutting and pressing, the bias tape was only enough for the front and back of a pillowcase. With my limited attention span, after finishing one pillowcase, I gave up and busied myself with other things like zesting and juicing lemons for those lemon bars.

Speaking of, I should go see how those are doing. When I say "see how those are doing" I really mean "eat a whole pan of lemon bars."

Oh well

2007-07-17T15:11:00.001-07:00

Didn't win that Fred Flare contest but at least I've got this

German Doug!

The Kraft

2007-07-03T09:18:00.001-07:00

It's a bit late to post on this since the announcement was weeks ago but I have been selected as one of
Fred Flare's "Next Big Thing(s)" for 2007! It was basically a call to entries for anyone who makes a product that would fit the aesthetic of the Fred Flare shop. There were 27 winners this year and from that group, one will be picked as the crowd favorite and that lucky someone will win a cold grand. One thousand dollars would feel really nice in my pocket, I would take the check to the bank and get it in all singles then make it rain in a club. Or how about quarters? I'd love to make it rain quarters, I'd get as high up as possible so people would really feel the wealth I'm trying to share with them. Then we'd all go play some pinball.

Vote for me! (Mia Santiago, in the smiley onesie)

Old steak talk

2007-06-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

Here's an old review of a steakhouse I dug up for your reading displeasure:

Mattson's Steakhouse in Burbank
Mattson's wants you to believe you're stepping into some sort of steak-slinging saloon in the wild, wild west but once you swing the door open it feels more like you 've stepped into the main ring of a three-ring circus. It's crowded and loud as hell and you have no choice but to fall in line as soon as you get in, staring at the huge picture menu looming above the impatient high schooler waiting to give you a number and shove a tray in your general direction. Shuffle, shuffle down the line and choose your sides, your drink. Everything about this place is dusty and faded but the dull colors and poorly shot food photos are still competing for your attention. I'm a grayish, shiny t-bone steak! Look at me! Everyone's yelling numbers and orders and every second you hear another slab of meat hitting the grill. At the end of the line, the cut of meat you ordered (or in our case, the wrong one) is plopped on a plate and handed to you.

I guess the pictures weren't faded after all, the steak really is a sort of grayish brown. Oh well, it tastes like meat and cuts like meat, it must be meat. So, we eat meat. A cupful of A1 sauce does the job and self-serve ice cream always cheers me up. There's the requisite "who can make their ice cream sundae look the most like a cartoon pile of dog feces" contest and the reward is, well there is no reward but you get to eat your own delicious pile of creamy feces. YUM.

Overall, the Mattson's experience isn't too bad. The people-watching is unbeatable and any eavesdropping you can accomplish will certainly be memorable. My top people-watching picks of the night: The lady who filled a plastic cup with soft-serve and tried to suck it up with a straw for a good 10 minutes and the young man with the oversized baby blue t-shirt with a shiny picture of a plump, scantily clad girl bending over with "I LOVE BUSTDOWNS" printed below. So try it, you might like it.. but there is one thing you definitely won't like about Mattson's - the after dinner farts. I tell it like it is.

Fly times

2007-05-24T23:21:00.000-07:00

5/21/07
The weekends have been picking up speed as summer approaches and have involved such activities as gawking at tadpoles (!) swimming around understandably confused in a bar toilet, playing my first game of bocce ball, and hanging around condo construction sites at 3 in the morning. If these are any indication of what's to come this summer, I can only hope that I can keep up.

Hey there!

Back to the typey typey

2007-05-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

5/13/07
I think it's time to start writing again, even if I can only pump out one or two paragraphs a week. I've actually started sewing again and playing around with some easy pattern construction and hopefully I won't lose momentum too quickly, as is my tendency. Going to the fabric store is always inspiring even though those trips seem to end up costing a lot more than anticipated since something inevitably catches the eye and jumps into your shopping cart crying "take me home, pleeeease." Let's face it, leaving that yard of seersucker or that pack of googly eye buttons would be heartless! On the latest trip, I went a little overboard with the neon thread so now I have a bowl full of little spools of day-glo colors waiting to be used on some wacky project that has yet to be dreamed up.

On a neon related note, I wonder if the whole nu-rave movement will hit the US full-on like it has the UK. There are spots of bright colors popping up in stores here and there and the whole 90's style seems to be back in full force which is hilarious since it was only 10-17 years ago. Will the next fashion craze be early 00's? You might want to stock up on your polar fleece, army prints, and cargo pants now.

Go! Go! Go!

2007-05-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

12/12/06

More spider talk

2007-05-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

10/23/06

We made a bunch of these guys yesterday and while they are not anatomically correct (six legs only) and kind of look like toads, I still love them. They are in honor of Mortimer, the spider in my bathroom who appears every night. Except I'd never eat you, Morty, I swear.

Tea and Spiders

2007-05-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

9/29/06

As a late celebration of my birthday, my family, Tyler, and my newish nephew are going to The Peninsula for their famous afternoon tea service. I'm more excited than I thought I would be, especially at the possibility of a (probably B-list) celebrity sighting. Will it be Joan Cusack? Or Adrianne Curry from the first season of America's Next Top Model? Afternoon tea seems like such a dainty lady thing to do and while dainty and lady do not describe me well, I think I'll fit in just fine because of my unabashed love for miniature foods.

Though I am not and will never be a dainty lady, I am now officially an Outdoors Woman. Our Becoming an Outdoors Woman weekend in Pere Marquette State Park was great and I'm glad I decided to go after much initial hesitation. I still can't see myself backwoods camping and roughing it for more than say, six hours or half a day max but I enjoyed learning about the different kinds of native trees and wildlife and handling a compound bow was extremely fulfilling. On the other hand, sleeping in a dark cabin with teenager's opinions scrawled over every available surface was not my idea of the great outdoors. "Johnny Depp is HOTT! So and so is a homosexual!" Also, a spider must have crawled into the hole that's at the foot of my sleeping bag and mistaken my foot for delicious prey. The mysterious spider bite on my foot isn't going anywhere and it's starting to freak me out. In a matter of days I expect alien spider babies to work their way out of my skin and devour me piece by piece. Can't you tell I know so much more about nature now?

Here's an interesting weed I heard about today, it's called dodder:

A new dodder shoot only has about five to ten days to find a victim in order to stay alive. Biologists have recently discovered that the dodder is able to "sniff" out nearby plants / future victims and it aims its body in the plant's direction, growing towards it. When it reaches a suitable victim, it wraps itself around it and basically sucks the life out of it. Once it has attached to the plant with its haustoria (like plant fangs), the original dodder root will die and it will live solely off its host.

As if dodder wasn't interesting enough, people have given it names like devil's guts, witch's hair, love vine, and hairweed.

In other news, the spider babies in my foot are ready to emerge. Who's throwing me a baby shower?